Posted 6 minutes ago

Due to drinking more than half of the large bottle of wine my mother just went outside singing ‘talk dirty to me’ to the dog. 

I’m also rather tipsy and Sue and I came to the laughing agreement that if a cop showed up, we’re going to not acknowledge mother. 

And I may hit on the cop. Man or woman. When tipsy, I don’t care. “Talk dirty to me, officer…”

*handcuffed*

Posted 11 minutes ago
watermel0n-smile:

he just accepts it, not even surprised by it. must happen all the time

watermel0n-smile:

he just accepts it, not even surprised by it. must happen all the time

Posted 14 minutes ago

Wine and Helen Keller jokes. 

All thanks to this:

Thank you, facebook!

Posted 17 minutes ago

Fine art is the beauty of that single fleeting moment of explosion.

Fine art is the beauty of that single fleeting moment of explosion.

Posted 20 minutes ago
Posted 23 minutes ago

psych2go:

It’s said that 90% of people will see the same word first. Don’t cheat! Type the first 3 words you see in the comments and then look and see what everyone else saw!

Posted 24 minutes ago

titanb00ty:

phantom of the opera: *singing* Grasp it, sense it, tremulous and tender

me: we’re not talking about the night anymore, are we?

Posted 25 minutes ago

a day in the life of a roleplayer

  1. roleplayer: *looks at muse*
  2. muse: *looks at roleplayer*
  3. roleplayer: no.
  4. muse: yes.
  5. roleplayer: don't you fucking dare.
  6. muse: I'M GOING TO DO THE THING.
Posted 25 minutes ago

bootyscoutinglegion:

attack on my fucking patience what’s in the goddamn basement

Posted 26 minutes ago

momazhari:

burn-down-the-world:

This was the single funniest thing I have ever seen a president do.

I’M STILL LAUGHING.

I will never not reblog this.

image

Let’s all take a moment to remember that Obama actually fucking did this omg